We’re about to witness an inverse relationship between the number…

We’re about to witness an inverse relationship between the number of stab wounds I inflict on you and the number of answers you start giving me.

Light Warriors, Black Mage Evilwizardington

Other 8-Bit Theater Quotes

Whoa! Look out, Captain Obvious! There’s a new… uh… a new stating the overtly apparent… man. Here. Right now. So, be careful! For your status as obvious-talking-guy is in danger over there. Ha! - View Quote Details on Whoa! Look out, Captain Obvious! There’s a new… uh… a…
What’s it like to walk through life without any sense of personal responsibility? To think nothing of expecting an elite cadre of warriors to attend to your every whim and worry no matter its insignificance. Tasks so important that they must delay the work of men responsible for ensuring that the sun will rise again - yet they are tasks that you cannot be bothered with personally as it may interfere with your schedule of rigorous masturbation. - View Quote Details on What’s it like to walk through life without any sense…
Fighter: Wait, let me get this straight. So Thief is the Elf formely known as Prince?
Black Mage: Killing you is going to be the greatest moment of my life. - View Quote Details on Fighter: Wait, let me get this straight. So Thief is…
Sword-chucks, yo! - View Quote Details on Sword-chucks, yo!
It’s not you, baby. It’s your knockers. I know those robes are supposed to emphasize your chaste modesty, but dyamn, girl. - View Quote Details on It’s not you, baby. It’s your knockers. I know those…
Red Mage: (wearing Garland’s armor) I’d say this is easily a +4/+4 Armor of Kick Ass.
Black Mage: Mo’ like a +Stupid/+Dumb Armor of Idiot. - View Quote Details on Red Mage: (wearing Garland’s armor) I’d say this is easily…
Thief: This can’t be the right place.
Fighter: The little sign above the door said “Von Vampire Residence”.
Black Mage: Oh please. That doesn’t prove anything. It’s only a last name. It’s not like Fighter’s last name is Knight.
Fighter: Yeah, my last name is McWarrior. Duh. (To Black Mage) And your last name is Evilwizardington.
Black Mage: (So much suffering will be visited upon you…) - View Quote Details on Thief: This can’t be the right place.
Fighter: The little sign…
Black Mage: Thief, your career as our leader reminds me of watching a blind child stumble through an uneven room laced with knives and tiger pits. Only not as interesting to watch because you can always push the kid if it looks like he’d made it. Who’s Mom’s favorite now!
Red Mage: Wait, you murdered your own blind brother?
Black Mage: It would have been cruel to let him live after what I did to his eyes. - View Quote Details on Black Mage: Thief, your career as our leader reminds me…
(to Black Mage) You are simply a horrible little monster and I pray for your quick and merciful death. - View Quote Details on (to Black Mage) You are simply a horrible little monster…
Black Mage: You pushed Red Mage… onto Fighter’s sword.
Fighter: Which is weird ’cause it started out sheathed.
Red Mage: I botched my athletics role… big time. - View Quote Details on Black Mage: You pushed Red Mage… onto Fighter’s sword.
Fighter: Which…