What’s it like to walk through life without any sense…

What’s it like to walk through life without any sense of personal responsibility? To think nothing of expecting an elite cadre of warriors to attend to your every whim and worry no matter its insignificance. Tasks so important that they must delay the work of men responsible for ensuring that the sun will rise again - yet they are tasks that you cannot be bothered with personally as it may interfere with your schedule of rigorous masturbation.

Light Warriors, Prince Thief of Elfland

Other 8-Bit Theater Quotes

Vargus: Fighter, you are easily my most accomplished student.
Young Fighter: Yeah, I’m pretty awesome.
Vargus: There is but one more lesson for you here at Fighter’s Camp ‘86.
Young Fighter: Shoot.
Vargus: How many schools of zodiac kenshido are there?
Young Fighter: What, that’s it? You told us that on our first day at orientation. There’s twelve schools.
Vargus: How many, Fighter?
Young Fighter: Twelve, one school for each sign of the Zodiac. Given enough time and some hints, and I could even name them for ya.
Vargus: You have learned nothing. Go.
Young Fighter: But… I’ve got nowhere else to go!
Vargus: There is nothing for you here. Go. - View Quote Details on Vargus: Fighter, you are easily my most accomplished student.
Young Fighter:…
Oh, I’m sure you’re thinking of some other god. The one I met gave me this healing shiv. - View Quote Details on Oh, I’m sure you’re thinking of some other god. The…
I trust Black Mage ’cause he told me to. - View Quote Details on I trust Black Mage ’cause he told me to.
By simply altering my other stats, I can channel their points into my intelligence score, thus making me phenomenally smart! - View Quote Details on By simply altering my other stats, I can channel their…
Great Moradin’s beard! I don’t mean to alarm you, sir, but there seems to be an axe lodged in your head, elf. - View Quote Details on Great Moradin’s beard! I don’t mean to alarm you, sir,…
Guard: Welcome to Corneria.
Fighter: I like swords.
Guard: Welcome to Corneria.
Fighter: I like swords.
Guard: Welcome to Corneria.
Fighter: I like swords.
Guard: Welcome to Corneria.
Fighter: I like swords.
Guard: Welcome to Corneria.
Fighter: I like swords.
Black Mage: Urge to destroy world rising. - View Quote Details on Guard: Welcome to Corneria.
Fighter: I like swords.
Guard: Welcome to Corneria.
Fighter:…
Dragon: Blarg! I’m a dragon!
Group of twelve dragons: Or twelve!
Red Mage: Impossible! Only a maximum of nine enemies may be onscreen!
Dragon: Fuck you.
Red Mage (to other Light Warriors): RUN.
Note: This is the 1st instance in the entire comic that the word “fuck” is said without being censored or being split between panels as in. - View Quote Details on Dragon: Blarg! I’m a dragon!
Group of twelve dragons: Or twelve!
Red…
My Big Bad True Ancient Guardian of the Cave is going to beat you guys up so fast it’ll be mentioned in the Elfland Journal of Science as a breakthrough experiment in faster-than-light theory. - View Quote Details on My Big Bad True Ancient Guardian of the Cave is…
(to Garland, after he finds a penny) And ye badguy voice be as vicious as the stormy sea, so says me. (Hey, that rhymed, yar.)… - View Quote Details on (to Garland, after he finds a penny) And ye badguy…
Oh, man, what a smell in that thing. Horrible. Anyway! You guys ordered an Apocalypse, if I’m right. - View Quote Details on Oh, man, what a smell in that thing. Horrible. Anyway!…