When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the…

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.

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People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. - View Quote Details on People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
I thought Deep Throat was a movie about a giraffe. - View Quote Details on I thought Deep Throat was a movie about a giraffe.
My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one. - View Quote Details on My father told me all about the birds and the…
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. - View Quote Details on Middle age is when your age starts to show around…
You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. - View Quote Details on You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more…
I’m so old they’ve cancelled my blood type. - View Quote Details on I’m so old they’ve cancelled my blood type.
As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn’t been touched by the war and blew it to hell. - View Quote Details on As soon as the war ended, we located the one…
Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren’t penalized for being on grass. - View Quote Details on Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today,…
You mean like Democrats? - View Quote Details on You mean like Democrats?
I love to go to Washington, if only to be nearer my money. - View Quote Details on I love to go to Washington, if only to be…