[why he can't pay the paper boy] Uh, my brother,…
[why he can't pay the paper boy] Uh, my brother, this morning, got his arm caught in the microwave, and my grandmother, she dropped acid and freaked out and hijaked a schoolbus full of…penguins.
Lane Myer
Other Better Off Dead Quotes
- Roy Stalin: Beth, you were standing with Oscar. Is he your main wiener man? - View Quote Details on Roy Stalin: Beth, you were standing with Oscar. Is he…
- I’ve been going to this high school for seven and a half years! I’m no dummy! - View Quote Details on I’ve been going to this high school for seven and…
- I gotta go, the Christmas tree is on fire. [hangs up the phone.] - View Quote Details on I gotta go, the Christmas tree is on fire. [hangs...
- Tree Trimmer: [After Lane falls into a dump truck off of a bridge] Man, that’s a real shame when folks be throwin’ away a perfectly good white boy like that. - View Quote Details on Tree Trimmer: [After Lane falls into a dump truck off...
- Joanne Greenwald... the girl with the antennae on her face? - View Quote Details on Joanne Greenwald... the girl with the antennae on her face?
- [giving skiing instructions] Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn. - View Quote Details on [giving skiing instructions] Go that way, really fast. If something…
- I’m real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky. - View Quote Details on I’m real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.
- This is pure snow. It’s everywhere! Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is? - View Quote Details on This is pure snow. It’s everywhere! Do you have any…
- Beth Truss: She dates the basketball team. Not certain members of the team, Lane, the whole team! - View Quote Details on Beth Truss: She dates the basketball team. Not certain members…
- The Paper Boy: I want my two dollars!!! - View Quote Details on The Paper Boy: I want my two dollars!!!













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