Young Fighter: Guess it’s time to give up the blade…
Young Fighter: Guess it’s time to give up the blade and embrace my true calling in life. Short order cook!
(Young Fighter bumps into Young Black Mage.)
Young Black Mage: Hey, watch where yer goin’, jerk-face!
Young Fighter: Sorry, I’m in a bit of a funk about having my life’s dreams shattered because I couldn’t answer some weirdo philosophy question.
Young Black Mage: You too? They just kicked me out of the Black Wizardry Camp for the same thing. Apparently the answer to “How many 5tth (sic) level spells can an experienced wizard cast?” is not “More than enough to destroy you all and your families.” Feh! I should’ve known, though. In philosophy, it’s never the most obvious answer.
Young Fighter: We’re best friends now!
Young Black Mage: We’re who on the what now?
Other 8-Bit Theater Quotes
- Yes, soon the planets shall be in alignment with the ley lines of evil and I will usher in a new era of painful… erm, suffering and uh… discomfort in general. - View Quote Details on Yes, soon the planets shall be in alignment with the…
- Black Mage: You don’t happen to work at the UPS, do you?
White Mage: Uh… no.
Black Mage: ‘Cause I coulda swore I saw you checkin’ out my package! - View Quote Details on Black Mage: You don’t happen to work at the UPS,… - We have clearly reached the point where only rampant and unchecked stabbing can save us. And my first act as self-appointed stabmaster is to slay my comrades. - View Quote Details on We have clearly reached the point where only rampant and…
- Fighter: Good ol’ Black Mage, he’s always trying to help people.
White Mage: What are you talking about!
Fighter: Black Mage is always helping people. The problem is, they almost never understand his unique brand of help so they usually end up yelling… or screaming… or burning.
White Mage: Why me? - View Quote Details on Fighter: Good ol’ Black Mage, he’s always trying to help… - Did you know that neither Mr Pibb nor Dr Pepper use the little dot thingie for their abbreviations? - View Quote Details on Did you know that neither Mr Pibb nor Dr Pepper…
- Oh, I’m sure you’re thinking of some other god. The one I met gave me this healing shiv. - View Quote Details on Oh, I’m sure you’re thinking of some other god. The…
- The problem with guards is that they are too inquisitive for their own good. That and the clean up afterwards is always such a bitch. - View Quote Details on The problem with guards is that they are too inquisitive…
- Be ye makin’ fun of my accent, sonny-jim? Yar. - View Quote Details on Be ye makin’ fun of my accent, sonny-jim? Yar.
- Garland: Evil Princess Sara? I had the forest imp dream again. I’m scared.
Sara: In that case… go the hell away. - View Quote Details on Garland: Evil Princess Sara? I had the forest imp dream… - My dark soul burns with fiery agreement. Or possibly tacos. - View Quote Details on My dark soul burns with fiery agreement. Or possibly tacos.













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