You’re the kind of person I would like to have…

You’re the kind of person I would like to have over when I have the measles.

Unsourced, Spite, venom, and gleeful denunciations

Other Henny Youngman Quotes

What got you out of the woodwork? - View Quote Details on What got you out of the woodwork?
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it’s light, she starts eating. - View Quote Details on My wife is a light eater. As soon as it’s…
Why don’t Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering. - View Quote Details on Why don’t Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well. - View Quote Details on A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so…
I looked high and low for you. I didn’t look low enough. - View Quote Details on I looked high and low for you. I didn’t look…
If there’s never been a suicide in your family, why don’t you break the monotony? - View Quote Details on If there’s never been a suicide in your family, why…
Look, I’m not going to engage in a battle of wits with you. I never attack anyone who is unarmed. - View Quote Details on Look, I’m not going to engage in a battle of…
I asked a Jewish man “Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?” He said “Yes”, and walked away. - View Quote Details on I asked a Jewish man “Do you know where Michigan…
If there’s ever a price on your head, take it. - View Quote Details on If there’s ever a price on your head, take it.
I’d like to introduce you to some friends of mine. I want to break off with them. - View Quote Details on I’d like to introduce you to some friends of mine…