Neil Hamburger Quotes
- Why did Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and The Big Bopper all retire from the music scene at the same time on February 3rd, 1959? - View Quote Details on Why did Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and The Big Bopper…
- Did you hear the one about the paparazzi with the heart of gold? - View Quote Details on Did you hear the one about the paparazzi with the…
- How many Scientologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? - View Quote Details on How many Scientologists does it take to screw in a…
- Why did Madonna feed her infant child Alpo dog food? - View Quote Details on Why did Madonna feed her infant child Alpo dog food?
- In which U.S. state did my ex-wife start having sex with the dentist she ended up running off with? - View Quote Details on In which U.S. state did my ex-wife start having sex…
- Why does Britney Spears sell so many millions of records? - View Quote Details on Why does Britney Spears sell so many millions of records?
- What is the only thing worse than the new Lindsay Lohan CD? - View Quote Details on What is the only thing worse than the new Lindsay…
- What’s the difference between Courtney Love and a porcupine? - View Quote Details on What’s the difference between Courtney Love and a porcupine?
- Why were the guests at Paris Hilton’s house party so afraid to drink the apple-based beverage that she was serving? - View Quote Details on Why were the guests at Paris Hilton’s house party so…
- Why did E.T.: the Extraterrestrial love Reese’s Pieces so much? - View Quote Details on Why did E.T.: the Extraterrestrial love Reese’s Pieces so much?
- Why don’t rapists eat at TGI Friday’s? - View Quote Details on Why don’t rapists eat at TGI Friday’s?
- Why did Kevin Federline spray Britney Spears’ cesarean section with Lysol disinfectant? - View Quote Details on Why did Kevin Federline spray Britney Spears’ cesarean section with…
- What did the Red Hot Chili Peppers do when their management informed them that they were not at all happy with the band’s latest tracks? - View Quote Details on What did the Red Hot Chili Peppers do when their…
- Why did God send Terri Schiavo to hell? - View Quote Details on Why did God send Terri Schiavo to hell?
- What do the Red Hot Chili Peppers have in common with George W. Bush? - View Quote Details on What do the Red Hot Chili Peppers have in common…
- Anthony Kiedis, the Grammy-award winning composer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, finally joined the Mile-High Club! - View Quote Details on Anthony Kiedis, the Grammy-award winning composer of the Red Hot…
- What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John and a saber toothed tiger? - View Quote Details on What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John…
- Hamburger is Tim & Eric’s cabdriver on Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job! - View Quote Details on Hamburger is Tim & Eric’s cabdriver on Tim and Eric…
- Why do so many children who have been diagnosed with terminal cancer throw up their final meal before dying? - View Quote Details on Why do so many children who have been diagnosed with…
- [asked by Nardwuar to tell a Canadian musician joke] - View Quote Details on [asked by Nardwuar to tell a Canadian musician joke]
- What do you get when you stick a penny in the assholes of each of the five members of Smash Mouth? - View Quote Details on What do you get when you stick a penny in…
- Why did Julia Roberts rub shit on her vagina? - View Quote Details on Why did Julia Roberts rub shit on her vagina?
- I went to see an aromatherapist the other day… and she had bad breath. - View Quote Details on I went to see an aromatherapist the other day… and…
- Why did God create the Paris Hilton sex videotape? - View Quote Details on Why did God create the Paris Hilton sex videotape?
- Why did the Red Hot Chili Peppers cross the road? - View Quote Details on Why did the Red Hot Chili Peppers cross the road?
- Why did Metallica cut their hair? - View Quote Details on Why did Metallica cut their hair?
- Why did Lindsay Lohan refuse to use the toilet at Courtney Love’s house? - View Quote Details on Why did Lindsay Lohan refuse to use the toilet at…
- Why did God create herpes? - View Quote Details on Why did God create herpes?
- What do you get when you cross the Red Hot Chili Peppers with an octopus? - View Quote Details on What do you get when you cross the Red Hot…
- Why did Al-Qaeda, under orders from Osama bin Laden, burn 20,000 copies of Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon in the town square of Kabul, Afghanistan? - View Quote Details on Why did Al-Qaeda, under orders from Osama bin Laden, burn…
About Neil Hamburger
Neil Hamburger is the name of stand-up comedian character rumored to be played by Gregg Turkington. His pacing is off, and he clears his throat nonstop through his entire routine, which is all part of the ultimate goal: to be the world’s “worst” stand-up comedian.
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