Evelyn Waugh Quotes

“I have been here before,” I said; I had been there before; first with Sebastian more than twenty years ago on a cloudless day in June, when the ditches were creamy with meadowsweet and the air heavy with all the scents of summer; it was a day of peculiar splendour, and though I had been there so often, in so many moods, it was to that first visit that my heart returned on this, my latest. - View Quote Details on “I have been here before,” I said; I had been…
I expect you’ll be becoming a schoolmaster, sir. That’s what most of the gentlemen does, sir, that gets sent down for indecent behaviour. - View Quote Details on I expect you’ll be becoming a schoolmaster, sir. That’s what…
Don’t give your opinions about Art and the Purpose of Life. They are of little interest and, anyway, you can’t express them. Don’t analyze yourself. Give the relevant facts and let your readers make their own judgments. Stick to your story. It is not the most important subject in history but it is one about which you are uniquely qualified to speak. - View Quote Details on Don’t give your opinions about Art and the Purpose of…
There is a species of person called a ‘Modern Churchman’ who draws the full salary of a beneficed clergyman and need not commit himself to any religious belief - View Quote Details on There is a species of person called a ‘Modern Churchman’…
Art is the symbol of the two noblest human efforts: to construct and to refrain from destruction. - View Quote Details on Art is the symbol of the two noblest human efforts:…
Pray always for all the learned, the oblique, the delicate. Let them not be quite forgotten at the throne of God when the simple come into their kingdom. - View Quote Details on Pray always for all the learned, the oblique, the delicate…
My theme is memory, that winged host that soared about me one grey morning of war-time. - View Quote Details on My theme is memory, that winged host that soared about…
Of children as of procreation— the pleasure momentary, the posture ridiculous, the expense damnable. (Originally said by Lord Chesterfield (British Statesman, Diplomat and Wit, 1694-1773) “the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable”.) - View Quote Details on Of children as of procreation— the pleasure momentary, the posture…
…I wonder if you remember the story mummy read us the evening Sebastian first got drunk - I mean the bad evening. “Father Brown” said something like “I caught him” (the thief) “with an unseen hook and and invisible line which is long enough to let him wander to the ends of the world and still to bring him back with a twitch upon the thread.” - View Quote Details on …I wonder if you remember the story mummy read us…
So the two of them went to London by the early morning train. ‘Let’s surprise her,’ said Nigel, but Cedric telephoned first, wryly remembering the story of the pedantic adulterer - ‘My dear, it is I who am surprised; you are astounded.’ - View Quote Details on So the two of them went to London by the…
Professional reviewers read so many bad books in the course of duty that they get an unhealthy craving for arresting phrases. - View Quote Details on Professional reviewers read so many bad books in the course…
Quomondo sedet sola civitas. Vanity of vanities, all is vanity. - View Quote Details on Quomondo sedet sola civitas. Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.
Not everyone grows to be old, but everyone has been younger than he is now. - View Quote Details on Not everyone grows to be old, but everyone has been…
How ungenerously in later life we disclaim the virtuous moods of our youth, living in retrospect long, summer days of unreflecting dissipation. There is no candour in a story of early manhood which leaves out of account the home-sickness for nursery morality, the regrets and resolutions of amendment, the black hours which, like zero on the roulette table, turn up with roughly calculable regularity.” - View Quote Details on How ungenerously in later life we disclaim the virtuous moods…
Was anyone hurt?”
“No one I am thankful to say,” said Mrs. Beaver, “except two housemaids who lost their heads and jumped through a glass roof into the paved court. - View Quote Details on "No one I am thankful to...">Was anyone hurt?”
“No one I am thankful to…
If politicians and scientists were lazier, how much happier we should all be. - View Quote Details on If politicians and scientists were lazier, how much happier we…
We, Seth, Emperor of Azania, Chief of Chiefs of Sakuyu, Lord of Wanda and Tyrant of the Seas, Bachelor of the Arts of Oxford University, being in this the twenty-fourth year of our life, summoned by the wisdom of Almighty God and the unanimous voice of our people to the throne of our ancestors, do hereby proclaim…” Seth paused in his dictation and gazed out across the harbour where in the fresh breeze of early morning the last dhow was setting sail for the open sea. “Rats,” he said; “stinking curs. They are all running away. - View Quote Details on We, Seth, Emperor of Azania, Chief of Chiefs of Sakuyu,…
I put the words down and push them around bit. - View Quote Details on I put the words down and push them around bit.
The human mind is inspired enough when it comes to inventing horrors; it is when it tries to invent a Heaven that it shows itself cloddish. - View Quote Details on The human mind is inspired enough when it comes to…
I put the words down and push them a bit. - View Quote Details on I put the words down and push them a bit.
I haven’t been to sleep for over a year. That’s why I go to bed early. One needs more rest if one doesn’t sleep. - View Quote Details on I haven’t been to sleep for over a year. That’s…
My unhealthy affection for my second daughter has waned. Now I despise all my seven children equally. - View Quote Details on My unhealthy affection for my second daughter has waned. Now…
But I was in search of love in those days, and I went full of curiousity and the faint, unrecognized apprehension that here, at last, I should find that low door in the wall, which others, I knew, had found before me, which opened on an enclosed and enchaned garden, which was somewhere, not overlooked by any window, in the heart of that grey city. - View Quote Details on But I was in search of love in those days,…
No.3 Commando was very anxious to be chums with Lord Glasgow, so they offered to blow up an old tree stump for him and he was very grateful and said don’t spoil the plantation of young trees near it because that is the apple of my eye and they said no of course not we can blow a tree down so it falls on a sixpence and Lord Glasgow said goodness you are clever and he asked them all to luncheon for the great explosion.
So Col. Durnford-Slater DSO said to his subaltern, have you put enough explosive in the tree?. Yes, sir, 75lbs. Is that enough? Yes sir I worked it out by mathematics it is exactly right. Well better put a bit more. Very good sir.
And when Col. D Slater DSO had had his port he sent for the subaltern and said subaltern better put a bit more explosive in that tree. I don’t want to disappoint Lord Glasgow. Very good sir.
Then they all went out to see the explosion and Col. DS DSO said you will see that tree fall flat at just the angle where it will hurt no young trees and Lord Glasgow said goodness you are clever.
So soon they lit the fuse and waited for the explosion and presently the tree, instead of falling quietly sideways, rose 50 feet into the air taking with it ½ acre of soil and the whole young plantation.
And the subaltern said Sir, I made a mistake, it should have been 7½ not 75. Lord Glasgow was so upset he walked in dead silence back to his castle and when they came to the turn of the drive in sight of his castle what should they find but that every pane of glass in the building was broken.
So Lord Glasgow gave a little cry and ran to hide his emotions in the lavatory and there when he pulled the plug the entire ceiling, loosened by the explosion, fell on his head.
This is quite true. - View Quote Details on No.3 Commando was very anxious to be chums with Lord…
Aesthetic value is often the by-product of the artist striving to do something else. - View Quote Details on Aesthetic value is often the by-product of the artist striving…
In the dying world I come from, quotation is a national vice. No one would think of making an after-dinner speech without the help of poetry. It used to be the classics, now it’s lyric verse. - View Quote Details on In the dying world I come from, quotation is a…
We class schools, you see, into four grades: Leading School, First-rate School, Good School, and School. Frankly,” said Mr Levy, “School is pretty bad… - View Quote Details on We class schools, you see, into four grades: Leading School,…
Up to a point, Lord Copper. - View Quote Details on Up to a point, Lord Copper.
You never find an Englishman among the underdogs — except in England, of course. - View Quote Details on You never find an Englishman among the underdogs — except…
His courtesy was somewhat extravagant. He would write and thank people who wrote to thank him for wedding presents and when he encountered anyone as punctilious as himself the correspondence ended only with death. - View Quote Details on His courtesy was somewhat extravagant. He would write and thank…
News is what a chap who doesn’t care much about anything wants to read. And it’s only news until he’s read it. After that it’s dead. - View Quote Details on News is what a chap who doesn’t care much about…
Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. It is the people brought up in the gay intimacy of the slums who find prison so soul-destroying. - View Quote Details on Anyone who has been to an English public school will…
Your action, and your action alone, determines your worth. - View Quote Details on Your action, and your action alone, determines your worth.
Manners are especially the need of the plain. The pretty can get away with anything. - View Quote Details on Manners are especially the need of the plain. The pretty…
We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them. - View Quote Details on We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse…
That’s the public-school system all over. They may kick you out, but they never let you down. - View Quote Details on That’s the public-school system all over. They may kick you…
I came to the conclusion many years ago that almost all crime is due to the repressed desire for aesthetic expression. - View Quote Details on I came to the conclusion many years ago that almost…
What is youth except a man or a woman before it is ready or fit to be seen? - View Quote Details on What is youth except a man or a woman before…
I’m one of the blind alleys off the main road of procreation. - View Quote Details on I’m one of the blind alleys off the main road…
All day the head had been barely supportable but at evening a breeze arose in the West, blowing from the heart of the setting sun and from the ocean, which lay unseen, unheard behind the scrubby foothills. It shook the rusty fringes of palm-leaf and swelled the dry sounds of summer, the frog-voices, the grating cicadas, and the ever present pulse of music from the neighbouring native huts. - View Quote Details on All day the head had been barely supportable but at…